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Although we like to think that the people in our lives are well-adjusted, happy, healthy minded individuals, we sometimes realize that it just isn't so. Personally, I've had moments where I'll be skipping through my day, happy as can be, thinking life is grand and BAM, I'll be blindsided by someone who manages to knock the happy wind out of my sails.Sometimes it is easy to write it off and other times, not so much.
Maybe you are a positive person, but when you are around a certain individual, you feel negative. Or, maybe you have an idealistic view of the world and when you are with certain people, you are made to feel silly, unrealistic or delusional. Or, maybe you pride yourself in being completely independent and in control of your life, but when you are around a certain family member, you regress into a state of childhood.
Some of these situations, and yes, these people, can have a tremendously negative impact on our lives. And, although we are all human and have our 'issues,' some 'issues' are quite frankly, toxic. They are toxic to our happiness. They are toxic to our mental outlook. They are toxic to our self-esteem. And they are toxic to our lives. They can suck the life out of us and even shorten our lifespan.
Here are the worst of the toxic personalities out there and how to spot them:
1. Manipulative Mary: These individuals are experts at manipulation tactics. Is a matter of fact, you may not even realize you have been manipulated until it is too late. These individuals figure out what your 'buttons' are, and push them to get what they want.
* Why they are toxic: These people have a way of eating away at your belief system and self-esteem. They find ways to make you do things that you don't necessarily want to do and before you know it, you lose your sense of identity, your personal priorities and your ability to see the reality of the situation. The world all of a sudden becomes centered around their needs and their priorities.
2. Narcissistic Nancy: These people have an extreme sense of self-importance and believe that the world revolves around them. They are often not as sly as the Manipulative Marys of the world, but instead, tend to be a bit overt about getting their needs met. You often want to say to them "It isn't always about you."
* Why they are toxic: They are solely focused on their needs, leaving your needs in the dust. You are left disappointed and unfulfilled. Further, they zap your energy by getting you to focus so much on them, that you have nothing left for yourself.
3. Debbie Downers: These people can't appreciate the positive in life. If you tell them that it is a beautiful day, they will tell you about the impending dreary forecast. If you tell them you aced a mid-term, they'll tell you about how difficult the final is going to be.
* Why they are toxic: They take the joy out of everything. Your rosy outlook on life continues to get squashed with negativity. Before you know it, their negativity consumes you and you start looking at things with gray colored glasses yourself.
4. Judgmental Jims: When you see things as cute and quirky, they see things as strange and unattractive. If you find people's unique perspectives refreshing, they find them 'wrong'. If you like someone's eclectic taste, they find it 'disturbing' or 'bad'.
* Why they are toxic: Judgmental people are much like Debbie Downers. In a world where freedom rings, judgment is sooo over. If the world was a homogeneous place, life would be pretty boring. Spending a lot of time with these types can inadvertently convert you into a judgmental person as well.
5. Dream Killing Keiths: Every time you have an idea, these people tell you why you can't do it. As you achieve, they try to pull you down. As you dream, they are the first to tell you it is impossible.
* Why they are toxic: These people are stuck in what is instead of what could be. Further, these individuals eat away at your self-esteem and your belief in yourself. Progress and change can only occur from doing new things and innovating, dreaming the impossible and reaching for the stars.
6. Insincere Illissas: You never quite feel that these people are being sincere. You tell a funny story, they give you a polite laugh. You feel depressed and sad and they give you a 'there, there' type response. You tell them you are excited about something and you get a very ho-hum response.
* Why they are toxic: People who aren't sincere or genuine build relationships on superficial criteria. This breeds shallow, meaningless relationships. When you are really in need of a friend, they won't be there. When you really need constructive criticism, they would rather tell you that you are great the way you are. When you need support, they would rather see you fail or make a fool of yourself.
7. Disrespectful Dannys: These people will say or do things at the most inappropriate times and in the most inappropriate ways. In essence, they are more subtle, grown up bullies. Maybe this person is a friend who you confided in and uses your secret against you. Maybe it is a family member who puts their busy-body nose into your affairs when it is none of their business. Or maybe, it is a colleague who says demeaning things to you.
* Why they are toxic: These people have no sense of boundaries and don't respect your feelings or, for that matter, your privacy. These people will cause you to feel frustrated and disrespected.
8. Never Enough Nellies: You can never give enough to these people to make them happy. They take you for granted and have unrealistic expectations of you. They find ways to continually fault you and never take responsibility for anything themselves.
* Why they are toxic: You will spend so much time trying to please them, that you will end up losing yourself in the process. They will require all of your time and energy, leaving you worn out and your own needs sacrificed.
All of these personalities have several things in common. 1) the more these people get away with their behavior, the more they will continue. 2) Unfortunately, most of these people don't see that what they do is wrong and as a result, talking to them about it will fall on deaf ears, leaving you
wondering if you are the crazy one. 3) Most of these people get worse with age, making their impact on you stronger with time. Frankly, life is too short to spend your time dealing with toxicity.
If you can, avoid spending much of your time with people who are indicative of these
behaviors and you'll feel a lot happier. Have you encountered these personalities? What have you done? Any personalities you would add?
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If you’re not clever enough to watch your barn I’m sure you don’t have anything to harvest, oh well just blame your friends for that...hehe...Anywayz a dog can help you watching your barn with that evil thieves...OUCH! I’m one of the thieves, do I have to consider myself as an evil? haha...In order to get a dog you have to recruit 10 friends. If you ask me if I had a dog in my barn, well I’m proud to say that my loving friends help me get a doggie!yehey! Actually I forced some of them to add that application to their facebook (charm2x lang na...haha “Thank you Guys…love you all...muah”).
Why should I consider myself as a certified addict in this game? Well just this three simple indication first I’ve spend a lot of my time in this game, second I even used an alarm just to wake me up so that I can harvest my barn in the exact time and the worst is that whenever I’m outside or not getting online in one day I get worried about my barn..:(…I will let you stole my crops if you think that symptoms is not consider as a “Barn Buddy” addict...haha... Well for me this game is fun and thought I want to share to all of you specially those people who really play games in facebook. Oh don’t worry you will not become an ugly-crazy-freak, just a simple addiction. Opps better go now I have to harvest my barn, see yah!
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When we fall in love, we usually think that's all we'll need to be happy. However, when reality sets in and we have our first real argument, we get hit with the realization that our partner isn't perfect.
In the beginning of a relationship we do our best to give our partner the benefit of the doubt, expressing our love and goodwill, even when we're upset. However, as time goes on, it can get harder to resolve arguments and, therefore, harder to feel loving and forgiving towards our partner.
It's at these times that we start to ask ourselves, is there a secret to making a relationship last? Is it really possible to live happily ever after?
The answer to these questions is, "Yes!" However, the hardest question to answer is: How do we do it? How do I have a lasting, happy relationship that doesn't end in a painful breakup?
The first thing to remember is that keeping a partnership healthy and happy requires work and that it will not happen on its own -- just like a flower won't grow if it isn't watered and fed. Relationships need nurturing, tending to, time, and energy! We often forget that a couple contains two human beings who both need to be appreciated, heard, valued, and respected.
With this in mind, here are seven ways to make your relationship last:
1. Keep the lines of communication open. If you don't know how to express your feelings and/or have poor listening skills, learn to get better at both. You can read a book, take a class, or get into counseling. Good communication requires both the ability to express and listen.
2. Don't sweep your fights under the rug and think they'll magically resolve themselves. Do your best to resolve your first argument as soon as it arises so you won't have the same argument for the next 50 years, in different forms.
3. Remember that you love your partner; therefore, you want the best for her/him. Give her/him the benefit of the doubt when you feel angry, hurt, or disappointed. Talk to your partner; don't make assumptions.
4. Don't take your partner for granted. Tell your partner every day something you appreciate about her/him and how grateful you are to have them in your life.
5. Your partner should never feel like your enemy. If they do, something is wrong; remember that you fell in love with this person. If there's so much anger that you feel like you are enemies, get help somewhere as quickly as possible.
6. Gauge your relationship. Notice and don't ignore the warning signs if you're not talking, you're less affectionate, you're fighting all the time, and you're not happy. The sooner you acknowledge you're having problems, the sooner you can begin to solve them.
7. Always remember that you have the power to change behaviors in your relationship through different tools of self-discovery. You don't have to stay stuck in unhealthy ruts.
Good, lasting relationships are made up of two conscious individuals who have the desire to work on themselves with the determination to stay focused on the importance of their relationship. They do not take their partner for granted. They have their partner's best interest at heart and, therefore, build trust with their partner.
When arguments come up, they don't ignore them. They address the issues and try to resolve them. When they see warning signs that their relationship could be in trouble, they act immediately and look for new ways to relate to each other.This can be accomplished by anyone who is willing to take the time and energy to make their relationship a priority in their life. Nurture your partnership as it so richly deserves! You can live happily ever after, not with magic, but with work, awareness, and knowledge of yourself and your partner.
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